There was plenty to complain about for this regatta: warm sun, perfect wind, great competition and lots of fun. Also, not enough water in the balloons, which were supposed to be “water eggs” but got tossed instead, making it hard to get anybody wet.
Racing Results
You can read these numbers on the results page. This report is about people, like the skipper whose name was misspelled in that report. She dueled mightily all afternoon, Scow to Jet, stem to stern, with the writer of the race results—payback, anyone? O how we love malicious gossip! Also, the Primary Race Official (PRO) made up finish times for that pretty kit boat, because the skipper is such a nice guy and the boat was always so far behind—hey, we had to keep things moving.
It gets worse: the couple that won the Balloon Toss? They used an illegal, unbreakable material (Mylar) for their chosen orb. I demand an Inquisition!
Lawsuits
I will not mention the quack doctor that glanced at my severed leg and said, “It’ll be fine.” Nor the bill for $5,000 that arrived this morning for that “treatment.” No, let’s talk about the most important aspect of this regatta: how much funnier this report is than the one from the last regatta. See you in court, fellow writer!
Reality
Thank you everyone, for showing up, helping out, racing well and contributing to a fun day. Thanks to Olivia for the decorations, great binocular and chronometer work, and helping with the rum—fantastic fake ID, kid!
Thanks to Kay and James Boyd, who blew up balloons. Margie and Lizzie Erwin made an essential beer run. George Mazeko explained the Wind Meter. And Peggy and Belton Hammond wrote down times while the PRO called the finishes. They did it in Roman numerals—thank goodness, that is all I know how to read.
The Cannon family had a picnic in the pine grove, newbie Wesley was shanghaied into taking (great!) photos, and Paul Fontaine played cards with Richard Ellis in the club house. Isn’t this exciting!
My wife found fantastic new crew for our Flying Scot 2302 “Scamp,” Julie Brockman. Meredith Lovejoy re-attached my leg in a four-hour surgery, charged NOTHING and was grateful for the practice (she is in nurse training at AB-Tech). Now that I’ve been kicked off Scamp, I have to stop here. I am going to limp down to Radio Shack for boat plans, nail something together and sail around the Horn. I hope to be the first solo circumnavigator to start and finish at Lake Julian in Buncombe County, NC.
And do it all before May 14, the date of our next regatta. See you on the dock!
Barnabas Sokol, Club Secretary